Junkyard of Pain...
Saturday, October 25th, 2008 10:19 PM
Ethical people recognize their mistakes as simply mistakes. They heal the past and themselves by correcting their errors, forgiving themselves, and learning as much as they can in the process. In this way they gradually become free of the past, their minds cease to be junkyards of painful memories and guilty secrets, and they come fresh and clean to each new moment of experience.
Guilt ridden people see their mistakes as unforgivable sins and punish themselves unmercifully. They do not heal or learn from the past; rather, they continue to punish themselves for it and thereby remain tied to it.
Roger Walsh M.D. Ph.D wrote those words in his book Essential Spirituality. The road from a guilt ridden mind to an ethical one is filled with all sorts of debris that I have accumulated over the years. All through my early years ethics was hammer into my head, but my head was filled with guilt because I felt I was not good enough to be true to my self or anyone else. I had to fake it and talk one game and live another, because I was confused and in a state of shock from being a fragmented human. I created a life that I thought would appease the beliefs of others and my ethics sat in a corner of an empty room in my mind. I knew it was there, but conformity was more important than honesty.
I innately have a sense of honesty, but the desire to be accepted in a society that regards material achievement more than inner responsibility, convinced me to use guilt to function in its place, so living a lie become my first nature. Everybody lies and in believing that, I create the evil that I fear and fight against in daily life.
As St Paul said:
I can will what is right, but I cannot do it.
For I do not do the good I want.
But the evil I do not want is what I do.
The road to ethical transformation is filled with the evil I created by my belief system and the expression of those beliefs. Beliefs are thought reinforced by imagination and emotion concerning the nature of my reality. If I want to be ethical I must believe I am.
Jane Roberts puts it this way:
Examine your beliefs, realize that they form your experience, and consciously change those that do not give the effect you want. In such an examination you will be aware of many excellent beliefs that work for you. Trace these through. See how they were followed by your imagination and emotions. If possible, look into your own past for points where recognizable new ideas came to you and beneficially changed your experience.
Ideas not only alter the world constantly, they make it constantly.
The idea of opening closed doors in my mind is a stimulating one. I find my self remembering my innate virtues and begin to express them. Little by little I relax and allow my inner senses to guide my physical expression.
Buddha explains:
Do not belittle your virtues,
Saying, “They are nothing.”
A jug fills drop by drop
So the wise person becomes brimful of virtues.
I am a jug that is being filled drop by drop, and sooner or later I find my self doing things like being with a friend in a time of pain and focusing on them instead of my self; or speaking the truth in a meeting when no one else seemed willing to; or helping a lost child find her parents in a mall or social gathering. I find comfort in being aware of the impact I have on others by being true to my self in each physical experience. Gradually my truth replaces the guilt and I forgive my self for being an empty jug in a fear-filled past.
The ethics that I long to see in my political and social systems start with me, and what I believe to be true. It seems the collective system works as Mark Twain describes it:
Truth is so very precious; man is naturally economical in its use.
It’s time to reach into my bank of ethics and make some withdrawals. By assessing each situation and finding what is true to me innately, I begin to change the system. At times the truth is hidden under a bed of fear and anger and it must be moved by new and fresh ideas; ideas that spring from the ethics that I find so naturally within me.
I have everything I need within me to change the system I created. I have the ability to experience truth in government, religion and social justice. All I need to do is release my guilt and accept my self as being human as well as connected consciousness. If I allow my inner ethics to express my beliefs, they will be truthful, compassionate and addictive in positive change. My ideas change my world and everything in it. Now is the time to become the man made of my ideas and turn a junkyard of pain into a showcase of truth.
http://halmanogue.blogspot.com/
A Poet's Journey From The Noise To The Quiet...
Sunday, September 21st, 2008 10:03 PM
.Somehow I landed a job selling shoes and for 25 years I thought the shoe business was my ticket to riches and a retirement filled with all the luxuries money can buy. The shoe business was the perfect vehicle to meet people and make money. Traveling nationwide and working in Asia, Europe and
Yes, my life was externally comfortable but I still wondered what I was doing. I could not see the point of this me by what I had been taught, experienced or remembered. The thought of how I appeared to others was more important than self worth. I was plagued with the same situations we all face in one form or another; addiction to or from something, an inner fear of not being good enough and guilty for not understanding why. Of course the Death word was the ultimate fear for me and for everyone around me. I knew all of this was manifesting in various physical forms, weight gain or loss, injuries, health issues and off course not having enough of anything; I wanted it all!
In 1996 my mother died. My world stopped. She devoted her life to her family and her religion. Being raised in a devout Irish Catholic home she learned she could love and trust her God as long as she followed the teachings of the church. She believed. I struggled with rules and authority so her path and mine on religion were different. Mom loved her God and prayed that when she died she would be reconnected with him as well as all those who had gone before her. I had no idea what to say to God.
I now know her prayers were answered and more but at the time of her death, I felt alone for the first time in my life. It was all about me. She was gone. Who or what but Mother would do what she did for me?
Feeling completely separated from her I wanted answers, I wanted her back. I turned to philosophy beginning with Plato, Aristotle, Heraclitus, Plotinus, Lao-Tzu, Nagarjuna, Buddha, Confucius, and Augustine. I started studying psychology and noticed anytime the author wanted to project a thought he would use poetry. I never had an interest in poetry; I didn’t own a book of poetry.
One poet continued to be quoted in the books I studied. His name is Jalaluddin Rumi, better known as Rumi, who lived in
Rumi’s writings completely took over my thoughts. While reading his work I realized my life would never be the same again. It was in reading Rumi’s words and his unending search for Shams of Tabriz, that I felt Mother’s closeness and connection.
Then I Discovered Rilke, Blake, Goethe, Dante, Dickinson Takahashi, John Paul II and other Eastern and Western poets. In all of these friends, I found the same message regardless of the time portal: That love of self, reconnecting with my inner consciousness, brings love to all life.
In order to love and to give the gift, I first had to be the vessel that held love for all things. In love there is no death only eternal life. Our loved ones live and always will.
Our inner voices are connected in one. There is no separation after physical death.
This is the kind of message I’ve heard all my life, but it was Mom’s complete connection with God that opened a door for me thru poetry. I looked and all I needed to do was enter. I had to forgive myself so I could forgive others. I was looking to others for help, before I helped myself. The answers sit within me.
I create the world I live in either connected to my spirit or feeling separated from it.
Separation is no longer an option. I am never alone living in spirit. No one is.
At that point I found myself completely immersed in writing; the love I neglected for over thirty years was standing before me ready to reconnect with me. Mom was there with me gently nudging me to remember who I am. She held out the road sign, al I had to do was follow it, and I did.
I retire from the shoe business and started writing full time. I write poetry and essays now. My collection of poetry: Short Sleeves Spirit Songs is published every year. My new book of essays: Short Sleeves Insights: Live an Ordinary life in a Non-Ordinary way was published in May 2008. I write a daily blog and my work has been published all over the world.
The funny thing is I don’t do it for the money, I do it to reconnect to my inner consciousness and I do it to feel Mom’s presence. She is right here with me as I write this and I can hear her saying: “In between the noise there is the quiet where abundance, peace and love shower you with unity and the choice to be free…”
That kind of quiet is filled with the noise of love and it is filled with the eternal luxury of oneness.
Hal Manogue
http://halmanogue.blogspot.com/
615-400-0431
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