Still plenty of bang for your baht in Bangkok
By Carl Munson
Whilst on a recent trip to Thailand researching new treats and treatments, I had the chance to check out Healthlands, a small chain of spas, with branches in Bangkok and and Pattaya.
Rushed there after a sumptuous seafood dinner (yes I know I did it the wrong way round), I was ushered into a lift and led to a delightful minimalist bodywork suite complete with oversized massage table draped with thai silk, a James Bond shower with more jets than I could be bothered to count and carefully designed lighting that had my blood pressure lowered on entry.
My tiny masseuse, Tina, invited me to take a shower and as I alerted her to my for-what-I-am-about-to-receive-may-the-lord-make-me-truly-thankful state of readiness, she re-entered the room and greeted me with "underwear - no!".
Thoughtfully and dramatically turning her face to the wall, Tina's limited grasp of English was immediately transcended into a clear communication - hurry up and get naked.
I needed no further invitation, and throwing British reserve along with my boxers to the floor, went for the birthday suit option and delighted in the combination of crisp white linen and soft silk against my skin as I hit the pleasure plinth face-down.
Tina's smoothing moves took me down another octave on the relaxation scale, my bliss interrupted only by my own foolish gluttony and timing as the preceding seafood feast made its presence felt - pushing back from the depths of my belly.
In no time, Tina was up on the table with me in true Thai style, not sparing the horses and putting an ant to shame in terms of bodyweight leverage. As she commented "very hard" (which I took as a comment on my muscular tone; not a prescription) she seemed to morph into an eastern European weightlifter, certainly in terms of pounds per square inch pressure.
Pampering quickly turned to my new discovery pain-pering', a concept me and my hedolst buddies are not too familiar with. Hedolism by the way, is my own hybrid lifestyle that marries hedonistic pleasure to holistic principles (for life and not just for Christmas). (see: www.hedolistic.com)
So hedolistic it wasn't, but I'm not complaining.
Childbirth-like specialist breathing got me through the toughest parts of this wellbeing workout, along with the gentler parts of Tina's routine that had me purring like a kitten. Knuckle cracking was complemented by luxurious long strokes, which reminded me that massage is the 'mother of all therapies' (even if at times it appeared to be an over-strict, disciplinarian father).
Incidentally, this mega-massage - billed as aromatherapy - was not preceded by any sort of consultation, or perhaps more appropriately, riot act. No western style contra-indications were discussed either; it was straight down to business at this urban oasis where it's a matter of buyer beware.
Dispensed with too were the prissiness and discomfort of the sensuality/sexuality issue. Certainly in my experience of British therapy rooms, the boundary is so clearly marked that it becomes an issue in its own right. While I'm not suggesting protection for therapist and client alike are important, I am saying the Thai approach - that allows massage of the chest, buttocks and high thighs without inhibition or embarrassment - is something we repressed Westerners can learn from. In other words "Get over it!".
Anyway, enough body politics.
Finishing with some deep pressure from Tina's elbows into my now 'throw whatever you have at me' shoulders and some implausible stretches that made me quite proud of myself, my Thai tormenter turned tension-tamer gently called time and suggested I take another shower.
Back on my feet, the world assumed that lovely, a little mushy, 'there is a god' feeling and back in the decompression lounge, I sipped warm fragrant tea as well as chilled water amid thoughtfully designed water features, floral arrangements and other post-massage guests. Massage therapists lined the inviting corridors with Thai-style grace and greetings, making you feel like a king or queen, yet I couldn't help feeling I should be the one bowing in respect for the skills so gratefully received.
Chilled to the max, it occurred to me that the suitably named Healthlands, a country within a country, a numinous nation state that all should be lucky enough to visit at some time in their lives, was the perfect blend of original barefoot healing arts, contemporary styling plus heart-warming Thai service and attention to detail.
I'm applying for citizenship.
Carl Munson is a massage therapist who integrates meditation and holistic health awareness into his consultations. He has had over 200 articles on natural health published and runs a natural health centre in Devon, UK.
You can subscribe to Carl's HealthCHAMPION newsletter at www.healthchampion.co.uk
This article was posted by Carl Munson
