The future of counselling
By Carl Munson
Although counselling was my entry point into the world of complementary therapies, I think it's fair to say it has a difficult image. Counselling is seen by many, if not most, as an admission of weakness – a totally incorrect judgement on what many, like me, discover is a powerful and life-changing tool.
It was my pleasure recently to meet a counsellor well aware of the PR challenge he and his colleagues face when conveying the profound usefulness of their counselling skills. Richard Haydon, who once worked as a kitchen porter and postman, and then in 1988 changed direction completely starting work at Broadmoor, the infamous special hospital, shared some great insights with me…
Carl: Richard, what was life like at Broadmoor?
Richard: I spent ten years there, working with people with acute mental health differences. I saw human life in a shape and form rarely seen by people in the outside world. It was during those ten years that counselling became part of what I did. In 1996, my counselling skills were formalised by Reading University.
Carl: What did you do with your new skills?
Richard: In 1998 I moved to Devon and worked in mental health rehabilitation. In 2001, I joined a Devon Social Services team working with young people until 2004 when I moved on to support severely autistic adults in the private sector.
Carl: Sounds like you’ve really served your time in understanding the human mind. Why is counselling so important?
Richard: People seem to think that you only see a counsellor if a situation in your life has become critical. You see your doctor; take the tablets and nothing seems to work, so you are sent to see a counsellor. It does not have to be that way. Counselling can have a role in our daily lives, not just a tool to be used in an emergency situation.
We live in a world full of amazing technology; our home computers have more power than was used to originally put man on the moon. Communication is all around us, but we do not seem to communicate with each other.
We may spend a fortune on the latest ‘must have’ item so that we look the part. How much do we spend on the part of us nobody sees? The way we are inside, the way we feel. It’s easy to spend £30 on a DVD or haircut, yet spend the same on a therapist, whether it is a counsellor, healer or physiotherapist and we must be mad!
Carl: So should people get counselling before things ‘go wrong’?
Richard: Counselling, as with other therapies should be part of our life maintenance program. We don’t wait for our car to breakdown before we do any thing about it. Counselling can be used to help us work through any issues on a regular basis, so that small issues do not become large.
I once heard an actress being interviewed. The reporter asked her how her therapy was going. She laughed and said she would not be without her counsellor as she can unload all her issues onto him. Her friends no longer have to suddenly leave after a few minutes of asking “how are you?” and it makes her time with family and friends more positive. That’s how it should be - proactive not reactive.
Counselling does not have to involve lying on a leather couch (although you can if that is what you want). It should be about people being given a facility so that they can work through whatever troubles them in total confidence. It gives the person the chance to explore their own thoughts, feelings and issues at their own pace in an environment of acceptance, warmth and respect.
Carl: How do you see the future of counselling?
Richard: It’s time that counselling was brought out of the shadows! It should not be a word that implies a person cannot be normal if they choose to see a Counsellor. In any case what is normal? Normal to one person may not be normal to another. We are all individual and this individuality should be celebrated not condemned. Counselling is a tool that can be used to make our lives more positive and rewarding.
Every experience that we go through shapes our lives and make us what we are. The only thing in life that seems constant is change. It’s how we deal with change that is important. I have been through several life changing events of my own recently.
I found myself divorced when I thought marriage was for life - ‘for better or for worse’. I watched close family members fight and lose the battle with cancer. I saw another survive when others would have died. Even my dog passed away. And up until recently I enjoyed an active outdoor life when an accident affected my physical health. I’m still here!
Sometimes there seems no reason as to why events happen the way they do. The one thing that all these events have taught me is that we should never take anything for granted. Life is for living and not just for being.
If you'd like to discuss the potential of counselling in your life, Richard can be contacted on: 07980 495346
This article was posted by Carl Munson
