HOW TO REFLECT WITH EFFECT
By David Major
Every machine needs downtime for maintenance, even the most efficient mechanical device cannot run at maximum performance continuously. Most of us accept this fact and yet a few lose sight of their similar personal needs, even although humans are far more complex than any machine. We can become so involved with the busyness of business or career that we don’t take time out until our health sends alarming warning signals. We might just assume that our nightly sleep is enough. It isn’t!
The restorative powers of meditation have been known, documented and practised for centuries but, in Britain in 2005, that ‘m’ word can have sinister overtones for many who hear it. Contrary to popular belief, it is not necessary to join any organised religion or sect to meditate ... and you are cautioned against becoming involved with any cult inclined organisation. It is not even necessary to pay someone to teach you how to do it.
The technique to reflect with effect is simplicity itself. True, it may take you a little while to use the technique at will and to become adept at it, but then almost anything of value will take time to acquire. There are really only two essential requirements and the rest you can almost make up as you go along, because everyone has their own methods and expectations. In other words, there is no right or wrong way; there is only the way that is right for you.
The first essential is a quiet location where you will not be interrupted by people, telephones, television, callers at the door or any other distractions for between 10 and 20 minutes. It can help if you have access to somewhere with an ambience that pleases you, but I have known people who reflect at their desk before others arrive or after they have all gone home. I know of one lady who uses the smallest room in the house and a guy who leaves for work half an hour early to avoid the traffic and then parks up in a peaceful lay-by.
The other essential has something in common with a high fibre diet! You must be regular. ‘Once in a while’ just won’t hack it. You need a regular time of day that you can allocate at least five days a week. Some people find early morning is best; some do it just before they go to sleep at night, and others use their lunch break.
At the time you have selected, attend to any aspects of your personal comfort, loosen tight clothing and shoes, sit comfortably, ideally with both feet on the floor, allow your eyes to close and repeat the word ‘relax’ to yourself, over and over again. When you get bored with this, focus on your breathing and, without strain, allow your pace of breathing to slow down to lower than your normal pace. Just sitting quietly, remain aware of your breathing. This is really easy stuff so far. Now comes the bit where so many give up.
It is impossible to think of nothing, so thoughts will intrude. The more you resist them, the harder they will press. When you have a thought, and although this may sound crazy, talk to it! ‘I am putting you on hold for a few minutes. I will deal with you soon. But, for now I am relaxing into my breathing’. Then just enjoy the experience of relaxed mental emptiness and see what happens. For the first few times you may want to use an alarm clock or timer, within a week you will be able to judge when your time is up. Sit straight, open your eyes, stretch gently and allow a few moments to return to the real world and then go about your day with a refreshed spring in your step. If you do it at night, then you will enjoy a deeply restful sleep.
TOP TEN TIPS TO REFLECT WITH EFFECT
1. Select a location where you can be quiet and undisturbed for up to 20 minutes
2. Select a time of day that is best for you
3. Loosen tight clothing and shoes
4. Sit comfortably with feet flat on the floor
5. Allow your eyes to close
6. Repeat the word ‘relax’ to yourself
7. Become aware of your breathing
8. Slow your normal pace of breathing to a comfortable level
9. Expect stray thoughts to intrude, put them aside for later
10. Allow a few moments to return to the ‘real world’ after you open your eyes
BONUS TIP: Do this daily for at least 14 days and it will become a highly beneficial habit
My name is David Major. I am one of Britain’s leading coaches and the creator of Open Doors coaching ... a proven process that delivers rapid results with a total absence of psychological jargon. Contact me on 0845 602 4528
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