Destress Your Thinking - Part One
By Sally Lever
There is no doubt that pain and suffering in our lives is something that we all experience from time to time and that it causes us stress. That same pain and suffering can also be the stimulus that triggers a response in us leading to a more peaceful existence. That response might well be physical – deciding to opt for an easier commute to work or to work from home. According to many of my coaching clients, the response also needs to be a mental shift, some way of de-stressing our thinking, if we are to achieve lasting tranquillity (or at least large periods of it!) in our lives. Think of it as a form of mental downshifting.
How do we know when our thinking is stressful? What are the symptoms?
If you are experiencing any of the following, then it is likely that you’re having stressful thoughts:
It is clear from reading those, that if we take no action to de-stress our thinking, then the next thing that will happen is that these problems will worsen.
What’s the answer?
There’s a simple strategy that you can use to tackle your stressful thinking almost as soon as it happens. I’m going to give you some common examples of stressful thinking that my coaching clients have come up with and show you how to tackle them using this strategy. Then, you’ll be able to apply it to whatever stressful thoughts enter your consciousness.
Stressful Thought Number 1: “I Don’t Have Enough Time”
How many times per week, per day even, do you tell yourself that one? Let’s turn it into a positive, stress-free thought first of all.
How about “I have all the time I need.”?
Do you believe that? No, of course not! Well, not at the moment anyway. The second question we ask ourselves as part of this strategy is
“What needs to change for me to believe this?”
and often the key to answering this question is knowing where our priorities lie. Managing our time is not really about managing time at all, because time is not something we have the freedom to change. It’s only how and what we try to cram into it that we can change. So, the key to having more time is to only spend time on what is important to us.
One thing that downshifting teaches us is just how attached we have become to our material possessions and how hard it can be to let go. It can be the same with our thoughts and what we consider to be important.
When I first took my sons out of school to home educate them, they both insisted that we could not possibly start each week day without first having “registration”. At home, and with only 2 students it was a complete waste of time, of course. I knew exactly who they were and that they’d turned up on time! However, I went along with the idea because my sons insisted that it was important for their education. After three weeks of daily registration, one of them turned to me and said “Actually, this is a bit silly really, isn’t it Mum?”
Which of your stressful thoughts can you let go of because they no longer benefit you?
Strressful Thought Number 2: I’m not motivated” or “I can’t be bothered”
Can you think of something you can’t be bothered to do? How does that make you feel? Drained? Lethargic?
How can we turn that one into something positive?
How about “I feel passionate and excited about this”?
What’s need to change for you to believe this?
For most people, if you ask them how they motivate themselves to get going with something, they will come up with all sorts of strategies for forcing themselves to do it – often based on rewards, punishments, enforced deadlines and so on. Sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t. But, what do they all do to your stress levels? Yes, forcing yourself increases stress. Now, a little of this once in a while might do you good. A lot of it certainly won’t. So, this is not a useful solution to lack of motivation. It’s not what needs to change. What needs to change is your level of inspiration. What happens to you stress levels when you feel inspired? They decrease rapidly and you feel lighter with much less of that drained, lethargic feeling you had at the beginning.
The key to staying motivated is to feed our inspiration. I like to think of this as nourishing our minds with wholesome thoughts in the same way that we know it makes sense to nourish our bodies with wholesome food. Both of these help us to feel energised and enthusiastic about life.
Some of the ways that my clients have learned to feed their inspiration is through reading inspiring material, spending time with inspiring people, watching inspiring films, introducing a spiritual practice (such as yoga, prayer, meditation, T’ai Chi) into their daily routine, de-cluttering their space, spending time in nature. What’s yours?
In part two of this article, we’ll consider how to downshift your thinking when your thoughts stray to fear of the future or feelings of unworthiness. De-stressing ourselves mentally in this way not only brings us inner peace and tranquillity, but can have some surprising extra hidden benefits too. I’ll be revealing those also in Part Two.
Sally Lever is a Sustainable Living Coach who specializes in inspiring and encouraging those who are downshifting or otherwise moving towards a more sustainable way of life. She offers one-to-one coaching, teleclasses and a free email newsletter.
This article was posted by Sally Lever
